We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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