I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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