And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
