yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
