I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
