"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
