You really coming over, don't trick.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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