just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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