I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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