I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
