he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize