he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize