i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize