i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
