But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize