Yo dont text me then not text me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
