David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
