if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
