but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize