i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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