I think im going to throw up on grandma
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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