yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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