Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
