there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
