i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
