I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
