She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
