I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize