i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize