you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
