Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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