My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
