She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
