giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
