If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
someone owes me an orgasm
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
