But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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