I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
