Non-Jews are for practice
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
