If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
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