I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
