just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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