Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
