i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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