apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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