i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
