these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My vagina just clenched in fear
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