i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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