im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
