I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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