after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
