Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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