how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
