none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
