bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
