I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
