soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the raccoons are back...
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