I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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